i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
