Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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