dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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