i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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