I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This is the high leading the old right now
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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