I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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