I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
