I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
