His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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