The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
