i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
