I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
