I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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