That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
