It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
