Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
