CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
