ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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