when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
