he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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