I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
