he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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