Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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