he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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