i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Randomize
