My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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