i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
