and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
