last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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