just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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