When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My liver just had a heart attack.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
