I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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