I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Michael Bay diarrhea
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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