Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
