um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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