youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sorry about my life...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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