69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
