WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
