So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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