You can't motorboat a personality
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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