dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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