I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
