# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize