Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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