fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
