Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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