My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
