Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
