Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
