am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize