it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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