What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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