You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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