I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
people are starting to question the shark bite story
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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