just tell him i said nine months
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
