the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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