I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
