need another drink. this is the easiest way
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
