i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize