Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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