none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
