Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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