Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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