where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
