I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
