I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I can't turn off my feet"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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