I'm eating all of the evidence.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize